Personality has a significant role to play in making an individual unique. It is crucial to shape the personality of children properly and I am sure, you are well aware of the fact that raising your child as a strong and confident individual can be quite a task.
Kids start developing personality soon after birth and the unique traits start showing when the kids are as young as 6 months. The traits become stronger between three and ten and then it continues to develop through adolescence.
The kids do not think like the adults or have the same attention span as you. They tend to grow emotionally, socially as well as intellectually on the way to be adults. Though developing the personality of a child is a slow and a steady process, with patience, you can develop emotional and social competence in childhood.
Parents always dream of a confident, wise and an intelligent child who stands well ahead of others and takes situations positively. Here are a few ways you can develop the personality of your child.
- Spend Time with your Child
Make parenting your priority at least in the first few years following the birth of your child. You may be facing a hard time managing your home and work, but this is the time when your child requires your full attention. Make sure you give him that. The attention and company of the parents are crucial in the formative years and you must make out time for your child in this phase no matter how busy you are.
- Be a Mirror
The child’s perception of himself or herself does not depend on the way s/he perceives self but by the way others perceive him. It is often said that mirror only the positive images but it is better to be the true mirror rather than acting as a positive mirror always. By this, I mean to say that you can certainly praise your child if he is good in studies or a sport, but you need not hide in case he is frightened to speak publicly. If you are eager to develop multi-faceted skills, help them to learn the truth. It is better not to ignore the weaknesses of your child.
- Avoid Labeling your Child
Make sure not to label the behavior of your child. This is common when there are siblings in the house but comparing with kids in the neighborhood is not uncommon either.
Maybe you are partially correct labeling him but remember that the more you call the kid by a hateful name, higher are the chances of his believing it to be the truth. He buys into the label he has been given, acting it out ultimately and beginning to perceive himself that way.
- Be the Role Model
Children are somewhat similar to sponges. Maybe we don’t realize that always but they tend to soak up each and everything that the parents say or do. If you have been around children and have often got embarrassed by their recall, you are well aware of the fact of their being born impersonators. Make sure you are kind to others and maintain a positive outlook towards life to help your child develop a personality that can keep them well ahead of others. Be very careful while you express your temperament and behavior in front of the kids. You can’t be smiling always and it is alright to let your child know that their parents suffer setbacks. This will help you to set the stage for success.
- Play with the Child
You would learn a lot about your child as well as yourself while you play. Do you know that playing together delivers a message too? It helps your child know that s/he is valuable to you.
Children derive a number of advantages of playing. Playing facilitates development of the social, physical as well as psychological development of the child. Playing also offers one of the best opportunities for the parents to engage with the children.
According to research, 75% of brain development takes place after birth. The most significant role that play has is helping children be active, make choices and practice actions.
Allow the play content to be decided on by your child rather than deciding on it by yourself.
- Accept the Shortcomings of Your Child
Just like us adults, your child may have a few shortcomings. This is absolutely normal. Accept these shortcomings and help the child develop a positive self-image. Make sure you are not forcing your child to fulfill your unturned wishes. Keep realistic expectations and encourage him to excel at the things he is best at. Try to fuel passion and avoid dampening his spirit. However, make sure to help him understand that s/he may not excel in the field his/her best friend is excellent at. For example, all my friends were great dancers and performed regularly. Seeing them, I also developed an interest in dancing but the problem lies in the fact that though I loved dancing, I was not good at it. My parents explained to me that I may not be good at each and everything my friends excel at. That was a lifetime lesson for me. Preaching your kids this will help them understand that it is not always possible to excel in every sport or activity his/her friends are good at. This realization is crucial to the development of a positive self-image.
- Pay Close Attention
You already know that children could be great impersonators and are taking all possible measures to be the role model for your child. Did you know that there are several other influences that can cast an impact on the behavior of your child?
Schools may cast an influence on the emotional health of the child. If you want to raise a confident child with a high self-esteem, you need to choose the school of the child with care. Also, be careful of the peer group he is comfortable interacting with. Connect with the child so that he is neither the bullied nor the bully. Also, make sure you know the things he is learning as well as his interests and activities.
- Give Your Child Responsibilities
In families where the members divide their responsibilities, the children tend to develop into independent beings and everyone becomes happy. So, give your child responsibilities. Being needed as well as useful help kids feel important thereby boosting confidence level.
Give your child jobs but make sure they are appropriate to their age group. You can get the very young kids do laundry with you, set the table or water the plants. To get the child interested, you can give them tasks they have already shown interest in.
Giving kids responsibilities make them disciplined, stay dedicated as well as give the opportunity to be realistic. In case the responsibilities are not fulfilled, there should be consequences. Make sure you are not inflicting physical punishments to stop such behavior. Physical punishments are not just less effective, but they may also cause the child to behave aggressively. You need not be too hard on the kids but take away the responsibility and tell them that they can gain it back provided they act right.
- Set a Few Limitations
You can make a few rules concerning health, safety and the ways to treat others. Make sure that the list is not very big to help your child remember the rules better. Moreover, the instances of rules flouting would also be significantly less in this case. As the children get older, they may love to be a part of household rule-making. Invite your child to participate.
- Allow your Child Be Himself
You can certainly punish the child for the misdeeds. But allow the child to be his/her true self. You can be outgoing and an extrovert while your child is shy and introvert. Allow him be the way he wants to. Make sure you are not forcing him to assume certain traits or characteristic features. This will facilitate the growth of your child’s personality.
The personality development continues through adolescence well into adulthood and is influenced by an array of factors ranging from social, biological as well as representational influences. You can certainly try and develop the personality of your child but never make the mistake of thinking that the personality of the child can change or develop overnight. You have to give sufficient time to see your child grow up into a matured and confident human being.